Something was amiss. Bridesmaids pacing, time was ticking. She blamed the chef’s buttery pastas. The wedding dress had a 20-inch back zipper with a 5-inch gap from top to bottom. It didn’t look possible. I begged “take off the spanks”.
To get slack, we had to like “smash” the bride against the wall like the show “Cops“. With one bridesmaid pulling the dress up, another two squishing in the middle and one pulling down.
I am on my knees at her backside – fingers sweating. Why is the damn pull tab so small? Why not use velcro? Easy in/easy out? “Here we go” and I yanked it up. Fail, two more tries, fail. “Push-pull-squeeze-hold your breath”. Nailed it!
Birgit (my wife) grabbed a camera and captured the exact second that I won the zipper battle.
They got married on the sand and instantly dropped the diamond ring, gone in a split second. I called for help, in minutes a huge pasta sifter appeared with the chef who found the ring.
Smiles for sunset photos all around. It’s who you know.
Happy Zippy Hump Day!
