When a grammar school sweetheart wants a Hawaiian adventure, you go show off Madame Pele’s beautiful flowing lava.
It’s 2am in the morning with 90 miles of long dark open road to the Hawai’i Volcano National Park, nobody in either direction, just the way I like it.
Nobody except for Eddie, the shirtless shoeless man standing in the middle of the road franticly waving one arm, the other holding up his shorts.
We cautiously stop and he says he needs gas, “been there all night”. I couldn’t say no. We were driving my wife’s brand-new car. What could go wrong?
Eddie and his uncapped gas can jump in the back seat, it stunk bad but nothing compared to Eddie, “Pilau”; Hawaiian for stinky. Eddie was way drunk and couldn’t add much to the conversation.
To my surprise my co-pilot Wendy was madly “CSI” texting my now not sleeping wife from a bad cell zone “scary guy” “Eddie” “mile 86” “this is where……..body”.
I had not asked her if she was okay with giving him a ride, she wasn’t comfortable, my bad.
My wife had no idea what to do.
After 2 minutes of small talk Eddie passed out, stretched out on the previously never used back seat, completely gonzo snoring profusely.
We finally get to the only gas station for 20 miles (closed), then try to wake ol’ Eddie up, still snoring, sucking in his own fumes, drooling on the upholstery.
Well Eddie had a nap and we finally got him and his opened gas can to a station.
Off we went to explore Madame Pele’s beautiful flowing lava without making the news. Hope Eddie had a good night.
My co-pilot Wendy will never let me forget it.
It felt good.
Happy Hump Day