Yep that was me. The wedding was at the legendary Kona Village Resort, one of the greatest little places on earth before the Japanese tsunami shut her down 6 years ago. A place where God himself sent his Angels on vacation.
As always, I left early but a big storm had blown through my country road and I had downed trees between me and my bride and groom.
So, I borrowed a chainsaw from my neighbor’s garage, whom I had yet to meet. I started in on a tree, got past it and ran into two more.
Cut cut cut, pull pull pull, tic toc, tic toc, a sunset wedding waits for no one. There is no excuse for missing a wedding, none, never, ever.
I blew through them like a fire wood cutter on a Starbucks double espresso with clips and branches a flying. With the windows rolled down, the wind in my face, I was now flying down the Queen Ka’ahumanu Highway to The Kona Village Resort. After an hour of almost speeding I made it just in time.
I arrived cool, calm and collected and acting like nothing had happened. I would have pulled it off until the wedding coordinators Haunani and Lani noticed the saw dust and oil stripes on my back and shoulders running across my classic Reyn Spooner Aloha shirt from the chainsaw spewing all over me. We in Hawaii call them Aloha shirts not Hawaiian shirts. More on this to come.
They dusted me off and I was whisked away by Lani in the bridal golf cart, off to see the bride to be.
The story was the talk of the reception and the wedding party was quite impressed, even with my lumberjack scent.
Hope you enjoyed our Hump day story.